It's the first time I'm spending the New Year's Eve by myself.
Every year, not one missed, our family will be attending the night mass together. I do like the environment, but this year I decided to change the habit a little bit.
For the first time, I decided to spend the night alone, dealing with my thoughts, trying to trace new objectives, trying to pinpoint my flaws (those one's which can be turned around to good in one year), and trying to meditate a little about a whole new cycle of life.
I have to admit that I'm spending a melancholic day so far. Tried to read a book, tried to watch a movie. Nothing seems right. Decided to write instead. It feels right... Writing about my future is something very difficult, but writing about hopes is something that can be done.
Most of people ask for money, health and happiness. These three things can only be granted by yourself, no-one or nothing can deliver these 'goods' at your door. What I really want to get during the year of 2007 is a better state of awareness (which means really seeing what's around, despite of our inner desperation for creating illusions), brightness of thought and mindfulness to choose between paths.
Choosing between paths... Tough task. Everytime I face my road being divided in two, I wish I could create a third one, right between them, 'cause that path is the one that feels the best. That's the way it has been, for a good time now.
For 2007, in a nutshell, I wish I'll be able to distinguish which of the two paths is the best - once and if they show up -, or if I'll have to tame and defy the jungle between them.
Happy New Year, to me!!!!
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